“Could you please tell me which way I should follow from here? That depends a lot on where you want to go,” said the Cat.
“I don’t much care where…” Alicia said.
“Then it doesn’t matter which way you go,” said the Cat (Alice in Wonderland, Lewis Carroll).

Knowing where we want to go is the first step we must take to start walking and reach our destination. We tend to say that when we have (money, health, free time…) we will do something or another and we will be happier. However, it is precisely the other way around that we need to consider the phrase, wanting something means transforming yourself to attract achievement, says the writer Raimón Samsó. Therefore, we need to ask ourselves, what do I need to do to be the person who ends up getting what I want?

I encourage you all to ask yourselves;What do I need to do to be the father or mother that leads me to having the family I want? What values ​​do I want to instill in my children?In an increasingly interconnected world with a lot of contradictory information and trends about how children should be raised and educated, parents feel increasingly insecure and fearful, leading us to constantly wonder if every action or decision related to their future is correct or not. We are afraid to tell them “no” because they could be traumatized, or suffer, or afraid that they will make mistakes, that they will not be happy… Terms like helicopter parents (those who fly over children to solve their problems, paying close attention to their every movement and needs), tiger mothers (focused on excellence in academic results and excessively perfectionist), jellyfish mothers (excessively permissive without established limits, they let their children make decisions)… highlight that Hyperparenting, as Eva Millet calls it, is an educational trend of this century characterized by the overprotection of children and the resolution of their problems, with the belief that it is necessary to give children all kinds of opportunities to succeed in life.

However, according to the author, overprotecting means not protecting, if we do everything for our children, we are telling them“You can’t do it without me, you’re not capable”. This reduces their independence and makes them fragile, with little ability to tolerate frustration. So what can parents do?

From my point of view, never lose sight of common sense, relax, enjoy parenthood understanding that there will be good days and horrible days, as in everything, love your children very much without losing authority, support them in their frustrations, do not prevent them, trust them, assign them responsibilities, and when you find yourself in a situation where you don’t know what to do, remember the values ​​you want to instill in them. Any unnecessary aid is an obstacle to development, he saidMaria Montessori.Raising autonomous children is essential for them to become independent adults.

by Olimpia Tardá,

DIRECTOR OF THE INTERNATIONAL MONTESSORI SCHOOL
CHILD PSYCHOLOGIST, SPECIALIST IN FAMILY COACHING