‘Could you please tell me where I should go from here? That depends a lot on where you want to go.said the Cat.
I don’t care much where….said Alice.
So it doesn’t matter where you go,said the cat” (Alice in Wonderland, Lewis Carroll).

Knowing where we want to go is the first step we must take to start walking and reach our destination. We usually say that when we have (money, health, free time…) we will do one thing or another and we will be happier. However, it is precisely the other way around that we should consider the phrase: wanting something means transforming oneself to attract achievement, says the writer.raimon samsó. So, we must ask ourselves, what should I do to be the person who ends up getting what I want?

I encourage you all to ask yourself; What do I need to do to be the father or mother that leads me to having the family I want? What values ​​do I want to instill in my children? In an increasingly interconnected world with a lot of contradictory information and trends about how children should be raised and educated, parents feel increasingly insecure and fearful, which leads us to constantly wonder if each action or decision regarding their future is correct or not. We are afraid of telling them “no” because they may be traumatized, or that they will suffer, or that they will make mistakes, that they will not be happy… Terms like helicopter parents (those who hover over children to solve their problems, attentive to their every movement and needs), tiger moms (focused on excellence in academic results and excessively perfectionist), jellyfish moms (excessively permissive, without limits, they let their children make decisions)… highlight that. hyperparenting, as they call itEva Millet, is an educational trend of this century characterized by the overprotection of children and the resolution of their problems, with the belief that it is necessary to provide them with all types of opportunities to succeed in life.

However, according to the author, overprotecting is not protecting, if we do everything for our children, we are telling them“You can’t do it without me, you’re not capable.”. This reduces their independence and makes them fragile, with little ability to tolerate frustration. So what can parents do?

From my point of view, never lose sight of common sense, relax, enjoy parenthood understanding that there will be good days and horrible days, as in everything, love your children dearly without losing authority, support them in their frustrations, do not impede them, trust them, assign them responsibilities, and when you find yourself in a situation where you do not know what to do, remember the values ​​you want to instill in them. Any unnecessary aid is an obstacle to development, he saidMaria Montessori.Raising autonomous children is essential for them to become independent adults.

by Olimpia Tardá, 

DIRECTOR OF THE INTERNATIONAL MONTESSORI SCHOOL
CHILD PSYCHOLOGIST, SPECIALIST IN FAMILY COACHING