Freedom and discipline are concepts that create confusion and that each family interprets differently. These interpretations will lead to the application of certain educational guidelines and styles that make us be more or less permissive, controlling, affectionate parents…

From a more conventional point of view, discipline tends to be confused with correction and punishment. In this case, parents wonder: How do I control my child’s behavior? The techniques applied from this model would be those aimed at modifying negative behaviors through punishment or talks, and rewarding children with ‘stars, points, money, candy…’ to encourage good behavior. Within this model, freedom would be seen in the same way as something that adults impose on children. In other words, I—as an adult—let you do what you want and I don’t set limits because I want you to grow freely, without conditions that could influence you, so that you can develop your own personality. However, ‘Letting children do what they want when they have not yet developed self-control is betraying the idea of ​​freedom’ (Maria Montessori, The Absorbing Mind).

Montessori schools are often labeled as centers of free education, but that is not true. Nothing could be further from the truth. As María Montessori said, in our schools, children do not do what they want, but rather they love what they do, and this has a huge impact on the atmosphere of respect and warmth that can be felt in our classrooms. Our understanding of the concepts of freedom and discipline represents the foundation of our interactions with children and how we work on their social-emotional development. In our model, we believe that discipline and freedom are skills that children bring with them and we, adults, have to prepare their environment so that they can fully develop these skills.

Discipline is understood as the capacity for self-control, self-discipline and will, while freedom is understood as the ability to choose freely and accept the consequences of our choices. As parents and educators, we can help them develop these skills by providing order and routines, as well as limits, that make children feel safe and secure. Boundaries should be imposed naturally and make sense, focused on preserving safety and respect, getting along with others, and order. This concept would be closer to what is known today as positive discipline.

Positive discipline involves a change of focus and a modification in the question, from how I control my child, to how I accompany and support him to learn self-control and make responsible decisions. This discipline teaches skills and involves deciding what we are going to do as parents, firmly but lovingly, rather than waiting for the child to ‘behave’. As they grow, we can involve them more in the solution-finding process. This will ensure that we continue to build relationships with our children based on love and respect that will last a lifetime.